Sunday, December 19, 2010

on the case...

Another late night blog post a coming... I don't know what it is about the urge to blog some thoughts around midnight...
I haven't really written much personal stuff lately, I keep telling myself that it's because I'm too busy blogging weddings and yeah, I have been run off my feet but to be completely honest... I actually don't have anything personal to blog. You see me and Pete don't do anything anymore... we've been swallowed by work... and although I love my job with such a passion that it hurts... I also miss our little life, our friends, our own little personal journey. I look back over this year and I cannot believe what we have achieved. It has been absolutely incredible how far we've come, how many weddings, how much support and I have loved every second of it. But it is also really hard. I have been so busy that I find myself on the computer from when I wake up to when I go to bed, I decline invitations as I'm actually scared to leave my little office... I feel guilty if I don't reply to emails immediately, I feel awful for all my friends and family who must feel like I'm ignoring them when they have to send me 3/4 messages before I reply, I feel sorry for Pete who has a full time job and then has to give up his whole weekend to come with me to every wedding and sometimes I feel a little bit sorry for myself... I've put on nearly 2 stone in the past year due to not taking care of myself and lots of convenience eating and... I've really lost confidence in myself and how I look that I've started preferring my little position behind the camera a bit too much. It's weird... I feel like my life has changed so much and so many amazing things have happened but at the same time I've kind of lost myself a little bit.... you become so engrossed that there's no room left for you....
So things are going to change. This is the time of year for resolutions so I'm going to set some... to give myself a little bit of attention, to give myself a life outside of work and to start enjoying being Emma Case again and not just 'Emma Case the Photographer'.....

God I love that boy there...

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